Chapter Forty Two

Kily woke to people talking and the sounds of beds being folded and pushed back into their proper slots within the sofas. She quietly slipped out of the bed and made her way to the bathroom. A couple of women were already in the kitchen making breakfast and glanced at Kily as she passed them. Kily kept her eyes to the floor and disappeared behind the bathroom door. She dressed quickly and combed her hair. When she emerged back into the kitchen the women who had been cooking were now seated at a small wooden table eating. The argumentative woman from the night before was now cooking as well and Kily smelled bacon as it sizzled in a pan. She made her way around the corner and ran into one of the men. The man looked down at her with a sly grin and asked, "so, how it last night?" The women in the kitchen laughed and Kily held back tears as she moved quickly away from him. She made her way back to the bed where Jacob lay still sleeping. She sat looking at the floor wishing she were somewhere else.

Jacob complained loudly about the noise everyone was making and someone from the kitchen told him to get up if he didn’t like it. Jacob threw back the covers and Kily looked away while he dressed. He was in a bad mood and demanded Kily go into the kitchen to make his breakfast. It was then that Kily learned that everyone made their own breakfast rather than making one breakfast for everyone. She timidly entered the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Don’t use my stuff to make his breakfast," a woman said flatly. "And don’t use my bacon," the argumentative woman said. It took some time and many questions but Kily finally managed to find two eggs that she was allowed to cook. She had just placed the second egg on the plate when Jacob walked up and took the plate. He took a seat on an old wooden chair and began eating. "You need to go make up the sofa Kily so we can get going," he told her as he stuffed more egg into his mouth. Kily was hungry and had thought that she would be able to have one of the eggs for her breakfast, but said nothing. She left the kitchen and made up the sofa. When she was finished she folded up her dirt stained wedding dress and packed it into her suitcase. She took a seat on the sofa and waited for Jacob to finish his breakfast.

"Let’s go, Kily, damn you’re the slowest person I ever met!" Jacob said irritably. He had finished his breakfast and had ordered Kily to put their bags into the car. The trunk of the car was full of wedding presents they had received as well as half of the back seat. Kily moved things around in the back seat and managed to fit both suitcases into the space she made. "I’m ready," she said as she slid into the passenger seat. Jacob put the car in gear and backed out of the driveway. "Where are we going?" Kily asked cheerily. Jacob rolled his eyes, "to Portland" was all he said. They drove in silence for most of the way, periodically Kily tried to start conversations but Jacob only gave short responses and finally told her she asked too many questions, so Kily spent her time looking out the window thinking about how good it would be to see Branda when they finally got to Portland.

I’m going to see some friends, Kily. You get out and I’ll be back later." Jacob said as he pulled up in front of his parents home. "But.. but.. we just got here!" Kily said surprised. Jacob glared at her, "So! Get out of the car Kily, it’s not like you’ve never met my parents before or something. I told you I’ll be back later." Kily did her best to hide her disappointment and stepped out of the car. "Can I at least get my suitcase from the car?" She asked. "You can get it later," Jacob said as he pulled away leaving Kily standing on the curb. She watched the car as it moved down the street and finally disappeared around a corner. With resolve she turned and climbed the steps to his parents home.

Branda squealed with delight when Kily came through the door and the two hugged. "Where’s Jacob?" Branda asked looking around Kily. "He said he had to go see some friends," Kily said as she tried to hide her disappointment. "What a jerk," Branda said with disgust. "You’ve barely been married 24 hours and he just dumps you off like that! Kily gave a weak smile and changed the subject. The two girls stayed up most of the night talking about all the things that had happened while Kily had been away. Jacob had not returned from seeing his friends and Kily was secretly glad because she had no desire to be in bed with him. She had heard many things about what it was like to make love and in her opinion none of it was true. The less she had to deal with it the better off she was in her opinion.

Within a few days Kily was out putting in applications but this time she had proper identification, and she did not have to worry about being a run away. Branda always went with her and the two girls seemed to find laughter in everything they did. Jacob continued to come and go, and while Kily was glad to see him she found that she had a constant conflict within herself when he came home. She dreaded having him touch her, it was never pleasant and she was grateful that it was over quickly. Sometimes she remembered the feel of the strong invisible arms that had embraced her that night in her bedroom and again the night of her wedding and her heart longed to feel that touch again. Kily sighed... as she remembered the feel of the embrace, "I thought that’s how it would feel to be with Jacob," she whispered under her breath. She put her fingers to her lips, "I would settle for being kissed," she thought, "maybe if Jacob would at least kiss me, it would feel better." Kily brought her thoughts back to the room and sighed once more, "I guess that kind of stuff doesn’t really happen," she said to no one in particular and picked up her purse as she left to go meet Branda at the mall.

Within the first month of being back in Portland Jacob’s father was transferred to a new gas station that was opening up in Salem. and Kily found herself making plans to move with the rest of the family. Kily and Branda busied themselves with packing and chatted as they worked. "What about all the places I put in applications to?" Kily asked. "Well, you won’t be here if one of them does want to hire you Kily," Branda told her, "but, I’ll go with you to put in new applications once we get settled in to our new place." Kily smiled, "Okay, it’s a deal," she said as she remembered the fun they had when they worked at the carnival together.

The move had been hard work but finally all the belongings had been unloaded and Kily and Branda worked together to help Jacob’s mother unpack all the boxes. With the unpacking done Kily and Branda spent their days walking around Salem discovering areas of the city and putting in applications at every place that looked like an ideal place to work. Jacob resumed his usual leaving for days at a time and while Kily was disappointed because she thought once they were married things would be different between them, she had come to accept that her idea of love and marriage was not something that existed in the real world. Jacob’s mood swings continued to increase and several times Branda had to jump in and stand between Jacob and Kily to keep his temper from becoming violent. On the days Jacob was home Kily had to be very quiet and submissive in an effort to prevent him from going into a rage. He belittled her and constantly complained about her not bringing money into the house. On the days when Jacob was away Kily and Branda continued their exploration of the city and their hopeful job search.

Each day they went out they mapped out a route that would take them by each place they had put in an application. They stopped in to chat and inquire about any openings that may have come up. Kily was delighted when the owner of a hamburger stand informed her that he had an opening and asked her to start the very next day. She and Branda were so excited that they hardly noticed the mile and half walk back to their home. Kily’s new job was to be a car hop at the hamburger stand. She had never been a car hop before and wasn’t entirely sure what it entailed but she was determined to be the best car hop ever! When they reached their home, Kily borrowed Jacob’s mother’s watch and made her way the mile and a half back to the hamburger stand. She calculated how much time it took her to walk there so she would know what time she had to leave the house the next day to be sure and be at work on time.

Kily made the long walk to work and paused outside the burger stand. She looked down at the watch she had borrowed again this morning, she was early. She took a moment to scrutinize the rows of parking spots that lined up neatly in front of the main building. She had hoped that Branda would get a job at the same place, but there was only one opening and the owner had picked Kily for the job. The girls were disappointed, but Kily promised Branda that she would tell her the minute another job opening came up. Kily put her guilty thoughts about getting the job instead of Branda out of her mind and surveyed her surroundings once more. The parking stalls were designed to allow each driver of a car to pull into the stall, push the speaker phone button on the menu box and tell the person on the other end what items they wanted to order. Kily had been told it was her job to answer the speaker inside the main building, write down the number of the stall the person was calling from, take the food order, and give it to the cook. Sounded simple enough. When the food was done, Kily would arrange the food on a special tray that had hooks on one side and deliver it to the correct car. She was to place the hooks of the tray over the edge of the partially rolled down window, collect the money, and return to the main building as fast as she could so she was ready for the next order. When the people finished eating, they would push the button again and Kily would go out to retrieve the tray. As Kily stood there imagining her job duties as they related to the parking stalls she realized she had been standing there holding her breath. She let the air out of her lungs, took in another deep breath, "sounds simple enough," she said and headed for the main building to begin her first day at work.

As simple as her job had sounded, Kily found that she was exhausted at the end of the day. Head hanging low, Kily tiredly made her way through the sparse crowds of people as she walked the mile and a half back home. Her first day had been disastrous. She couldn’t even count how many times she had mixed up the orders. Giving stall number two, stall number tens order. Forgetting to hold the "mayo," on stall eighteen’s BLT, giving stall twenty two corn dogs instead of hot dogs, and Kily shuttered when she thought about spilling a whole tray of food into the lap of the driver of stall six! All day Kily had walked back and forth from the main building to the stalls, apologizing over and over. She was exhausted, her feet felt blistered, and her legs ached as if she had run for miles. She wasn’t even sure she would be allowed into the main building tomorrow to work again after today and she had been to embarrassed to ask before she left. At the moment Kily concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and thought about how she had been so full of energy almost running the mile and a half this morning. That seemed like weeks ago now. Kily watched her feet as she walked, telling herself, "take one more step, each step I take makes me one more step closer to home, then I can rest."

The next morning Kily began the mile and half walk back to the burger stand. She had no idea what they would say to her when she arrived. She had visions of them laughing at her and telling her she was fired. The anxiety was so great that Kily found it hard to take more than just shallow breaths as she walked. With sweaty palms and shaking hands Kily turned the door handle and stepped into the main building of the burger stand. "Good morning," her boss said as he passed by carrying a huge plastic bucket of freshly peeled potatoes. "Better grab your apron, get your change counted out, and get busy setting up the condiments," he bellowed as he slammed the bucket down. "Today’s gonna be a busy one with the holiday shoppers hurrying around," he said as he began slicing the potatoes into french fries. Kily couldn’t believe he was so nonchalant about everything. He stopped slicing the potatoes, looked up, and said, "well, what are you just standing there for?" With a start Kily quickly moved to grab an apron and got right to work filling tiny little paper cups with ketchup. "Wow," she thought to herself, "I’m not fired!" With renewed vigor Kily worked quickly to get the little cups filled with ketchup, moved on to filling the condiment containers, counting her change out for the day, and filling the milk shake machine. Just as she was finished with all the preparations, the familiar sound of the stall buzzer persistently rasped away and Kily happily answered it with a cheerful "how may help you?"

Her boss had been right, it was a very busy day. However, Kily had not mixed up one order or spilled anything today. Tired as she was Kily untied her apron with a smile on her face, said good night to her boss and added, "I’ll see you tomorrow." He stopped her before she could reach the door and said, "you did a good job today Kily. Don’t let what happened on your first day get you down, you’re going to do just fine here." Kily beamed with pride as she said thank you and started the long walk home.

 Copyright 2006