September arrived and late in the month little Dillon made his arrival into the world. Kily looked at him everyday with awe. He was a beautiful blonde haired baby and had Jacob’s eyes and nose. Before she knew it November arrived and Kily turned eighteen. Jacob continued to write letters to her every day and she sent pictures of Dillon to him as often as she could get them developed. When December arrived Jacob wrote to tell her that because he had been considered "the model" prisoner, the warden had given him permission to come home for Christmas to see his new born son. Kily was surprised and excited all at the same time. She told mother the news and was pleased when mother agreed to allow him to come to the house. 

Jacob arrived on the bus the day before Christmas and Kily introduced him to his new son. Jacob was loving and kind and held the baby tentatively in his arms. Mother and Kily created a wonderful Christmas dinner and for the first time Kily felt as if she had a family.  

The days Jacob was allowed to stay passed too quickly and Kily cried as she stood out side the bus stop where she once worked. It was very painful saying good bye to Jacob and he made her promise to write him everyday. Kily stood in the cold blowing wind cuddling little Dillon close to her as she waved good bye to Jacob. "If our future is anything as happy as these last few days have been Dillon then we will be the luckiest people on earth." she said to her baby as she watched the bus pull away.  

The winter passed with daily letters to and from Jacob. Spring moved by so quickly that Kily could hardly believe a spring had existed. Dillon grew and happily chuckled at everything he saw. Summer came and Jacob wrote to tell Kily that he was being released for good behavior and was going to come home early. 

Dillon sucked on his tiny fist as Kily cradled him in her arms. She read excerpt’s from Jacob’s letter to the baby as she rocked him, "I’m coming home in just a few weeks", she read, "They have a thing here called good time behavior and I have earned good time days toward my sentence. The warden told me that with the good time I’ve earned I’ll be released in three weeks." Jacob had said in his letter. "Did you hear that Dillon?" Kily said as she kissed him on his forehead. Dillon cooed around his tiny fist blowing bubbles and Kily laughed. "So you’re daddy has been very good not like in the old days! In all his letters he says he loves you and me, and tells us how things are going to be so nice when he gets to come home," Kily said with excitement and swung Dillon around and around in her arms. She put the letter down on the table wrapped a blanket around Dillon’s tiny form and stepped out into mother’s back yard. She walked through the grass and smiled as she thought about the promises Jacob’s words held for her and Dillon. She sighed happily as she looked down at Dillon’s now sleeping body, "I almost left him you know," she said to her tiny son. "There was a time when he was so cruel and I feared for my life and now he is the Jacob I once thought he was. Kind and loving and when he comes home you will have a daddy that loves you as much as I do," she told the sleeping form of the child in her arms. 

Through the next week Kily got sometimes two or three letters a day from Jacob. The pieces for Kily’s future lay in the contents of each letter she received from Jacob. His parents had moved to a small town about 30 miles away from Kily, and Jacob wrote to tell her that they were eager to see their new grandson and hoped that Kily, Dillon, and Jacob would come to live with them when he came home. Jacob provided Kily with their address and telephone number and told her they were waiting for her to call them. In the next letter Kily opened from him, Jacob instructed her to contact his parents right away and make arrangements to move all of her and Dillon’s things right away so they would already be there when he was released. "Oh, this is moving so fast!" Kily exclaimed. Kily opened the third letter of the day and found that Jacob had arranged with the prison authorities for him to take the bus directly to the town where his parents lived and he even had the bus schedule that told Kily what day and time he would arrive. Kily rocked Dillon in her arms as she paced the kitchen. "Where do I start," she thought to herself, "there’s so much to do and oh my what will I tell mother?" she thought. Kily remembered Jacob’s mother’s threat to take her baby away so long ago and she was hesitant to do as Jacob asked. She knew that people often say things they don’t mean when they are upset but still the words his mother had said made Kily afraid to put herself and the baby in a situation that might not be good for them. She debated on what to do. There was no time to write Jacob and tell him about her fears and ask what he thought she should do. By the time she got an answer back from him it would already be too late. She paced and reasoned that Jacob must have already been writing his parents about the whole situation and ultimately she decided that she would do as he asked and trust that there would not be a problem with his parents. 

Mother came home from work and Kily explained what Jacob wanted her to do. She could tell that mother was not happy about the change in events and tried to keep her voice positive. "In all the letters he writes, he’s a changed person," Kily explained. "He really loves us and wants to make a good life for us," she continued. Mother nodded her head but the look on her face told Kily that she was holding back words that if spoken would create an argument that Kily did not want to get into. 

Kily called Jacob’s parents confirmed their address, got directions to their home, then began packing. Within two weeks she found herself standing in their living room. Jacob’s mother immediately took Dillon and walked around proudly with him. Jacob’s father followed her peeking over her shoulder while he tried to gently stroke the baby’s head. Kily smiled as she envisioned the perfect family they would have once Jacob arrived.  

Kily busied herself putting Dillon’s things away in the room that would become home to her, Dillon and Jacob in just a few more days. She felt excited as she prepared things with care. She wanted everything to be neat and orderly when he arrived. Jacob’s mother rocked Dillon every chance she got and Kily found it much easier to unpack the boxes of things she had brought while Dillon was occupied with his new grandmother. The days passed quickly and Kily stood in the kitchen eagerly waiting for the time when the bus would arrive. "You go ahead Kily, you go meet Jacob and I will stay here with Dillon," Jacob’s mother told her. "You two could use a few minutes alone without the baby." "Oh, I don’t know?" Kily said, "I thought it might be nice for him to see his son when he got off the bus." Jacob’s mother told Kily that there was plenty of time for Jacob to spend with his son once he was at the house "and besides the bus stop is only a few minutes away," she insisted. Kily smiled and finally agreed. "Time to go, hurry now," Jacob’s mother told her as she hurried her toward the door. Kily kissed the top of Dillon’s head and rushed out the door in eager excitement. 

Jacob stepped off the bus and Kily flew into his arms. "Hey, I’ve missed you so much," Jacob said as he hugged her tight. "I’m so glad you’re home," Kily told him with tears in her eyes. "Hey, where’s my son?" Jacob said as he looked around. "Your mother couldn’t bear to part with him and asked me to let her keep him until we got back," Kily told him with a laugh. Jacob frowned, "I would have thought you would bring him with you," he told her. "Well you will just have to argue that out with his grandma," Kily replied with a chuckle. Jacob took her hand and they made their way to his parents house. 

The first two weeks of Jacob’s homecoming was busy. His parents had spread the word of his homecoming and Kily was surprised at the number of people who came to see him. Most of them she had never seen before and some she thought she hoped she wouldn’t see again. Jacob spent a lot of time visiting with friends and periodically going out. He was attentive and kind to Kily when he was home but always insisted she needed her rest and should stay home with the baby when he went out. Once Kily assured him that his mother would happily babysit for them if she went along with him, but he insisted that she needed her rest as it was hard work taking care of a baby. Kily felt disappointed but admired him for thinking of her well being. During the third and fourth week of Jacob being home he had taken to watching television during the day and staying out late at night with his friends. "Jacob you need to start looking for a job soon son," his father said as he opened a beer and sat in the chair opposite Jacob. "Jesus Dad, I just got home give me a break will ya." Jacob said sarcastically. "I know but there’s an opening down at the station where I work, I can put in a good word for you," his father said as he took a long swig from the beer can. Jacob got up and turned the station on the television then sat back down without responding. "Jacob, did you hear what I said?" his father asked. Jacob became irritated, "I’m not working at a gas station," he said as if it were a dirty word. Jacob’s father took another drink of his beer, "That’s fine, but at least start putting in applications Jacob, you know it’s a part of your parole agreement and I don’t want to see them violate your parole just because you didn’t look for work." Jacob sighed as if disgusted with the conversation, "I will, I will, just get off my back about it dad." His father said no more finished his beer and left the living room. Kily had been surprised by the conversation. She had not known that he was required to look for work. She had been trying to be patient with Jacob thinking that it must have been hard for him to have been locked up so long and she thought he just needed some time to get used to being free again. 

Over the next month Jacob began leaving the house during the day saying he was going out to put in applications. On the day when he did this he rarely returned home before midnight. Kily found herself more and more alone and when she tried to talk to Jacob about it he would get angry and tell her to stop nagging him. Not wanting to create an argument between them Kily tried her best to keep from asking questions and hope that he would get a job soon so they could move into their own home. 

Fall was almost upon them and for the last three months Kily had settled into a routine of taking care of the baby and trying her best to keep the house clean. She found that she was always worrying about how they were going to get milk and baby food for Dillon since Jacob was still not working and the stress was setting her nerves on end. She finished making the bed and cleaning up their room then headed out to the living room to clean it up as well. Jacob lounged on the couch watching a re-run. Kily walked around the living room picking up soda glasses from the night before and squinched up her nose at a cereal bowl that had been there since Jacob’s late night snack sometime after he had come in during the middle of the night. Dillon cried from the bedroom and she quickly deposited the numerous dirty dishes in the sink and went to tend to him. She changed Dillon and walked back into the living room. "Hey, change the channel for me will ya," Jacob said as she walked toward the kitchen to fix a bottle for the baby. Kily stopped at the television set, changed the channel and stopped when an old western came on the screen. She turned and walked into the kitchen bouncing Dillon on her hip. "Not that station," Jacob called out from the living room. Kily sighed, "Just a minute," she said, "I’m fixing the baby his bottle." "Jesus Christ," she heard Jacob yell from the living room. The stomping she heard told her that he had gotten up and changed the channel yet again. Kily tested the bottle on her wrist determined that it was the right temperature for Dillon and walked back into the living room. She sat in the rocking chair and gave the baby his bottle. "How’s the job hunting going?" she asked hesitantly. "Shut up, can’t you see I’m watching television," Jacob told her. "Jacob we really need to talk about this. There’s always some reason we can’t talk about stuff, but the baby needs milk and I need money for laundry so he can have diapers and we need to give your parents something for letting us stay here as well." Jacob threw the coffee cup sitting in front him in Kily’s direction. "Jesus, you’re always wanting something, Kily! Ever since I got home you’ve been pushing me and pushing me about stuff! I’m the man around here and I decide what needs to be done." He yelled. Dillon began to whimper in Kily’s arms. "Shh, it’s ok," she told him. "Hell you’re nothing but a nag, Kily. You don’t know nothing about being a wife and you’re a terrible mother! You didn’t even care enough about your own son to bring him with you to the bus stop!" Jacob spat out at her. Kily stared at him in shock. "That’s not the way it was Jacob, I told you your mother wanted to spend some time with him! And if you’re the man of the house then you need to figure out how we’re going to buy milk for your son and have money to do laundry so your son can have diapers!" Jacob stood up and stood over her, "Are you telling me what to do?" he yelled menacingly. Kily became scared and immediately remembered how cruel he had once been to her. She became very nervous because she had Dillon in her arms and she was afraid Jacob might do something that would accidently cause harm to Dillon. "No," she told Jacob in a subdued voice. "Yeah I didn’t think so! You know you’re no good and you know that nobody but me will want you! You’re dam lucky I put up with you Kily, I’m the only one stupid enough to put up with your crap." Kily’s body shook involuntarily and she tried desperately to remain calm for the sake of the child in her arms. Dillon sensed her fear and began to cry. "Look at you!" Jacob spat out, "you’re such a lousy mother that your own son cries when you hold him!" Kily put Dillon over her shoulder and tried to comfort him with small pats on the back. "Jacob, I’m sorry I’ve made you angry. It’s just that you have been home for four months now and every day there is one reason after another why you don’t go out to look for work. I was hoping maybe we could talk about things and find a way to help each other get through this?" Kily said as she tried to reason with him. "What?" Jacob bellowed. "Are you blaming me for this mess you’ve gotten us into? You dare to blame me! I’m the one who had to spend time in that hell hole of a prison, I’m the one who had to suffer while you were out here enjoying yourself pretending you’re miss goody two shoes! I’m entitled to take some time off and you can’t even give me that much Kily!" He yelled in her face. Kily’s whole body was shaking now and Jacob’s yelling set Dillon into loud fearful cries. With a sudden movement Jacob reached out and roughly grabbed Dillon from out of Kily’s arms. "Shut up!" he demanded of the baby and began to shake him. Kily was terrified. She jumped up from her seat and reached for the baby. "Okay, okay," she said in a very deliberate and calm voice. "Yes, Jacob, you’re right. I’m not a very good mother and I will work very hard to learn to be a better wife. You’re also right about deserving time to recuperate since you got out, you deserve to be pampered for as long as you need and I will take good care of you." Jacob stopped shaking Dillon and stared at Kily. Dillon’s tiny terrified screams continued to fill the house. Kily took a slow step forward and very carefully and slowly reached out her arms toward the terrified baby. "Yes, Jacob, you’re right and I will take very good care of you from now on. I have finally realized that what you’re saying is true and I’m ashamed of myself for not seeing it before," she said as she gently took the screaming baby from his outstretched arms. Kily hugged Dillon close to her chest and gently patted his tiny back to soothe him. "Sit down Jacob," she said gently, "let me fix you a really nice lunch so you can relax and enjoy your afternoon." I have to calm him down, Kily thought in desperation, I have to keep him calm for Dillon’s sake. Kily’s mind raced, her only thought was the safety of her son, she did not want Jacob to go into a rage that might hurt her child. She didn’t care what she had to say she only knew she needed words that would convince him that he was right and she was wrong. Jacob had been standing silently staring at her. She was surprised when he allowed her to take the baby from him and now she could see that her words were creating a different reaction in him. She offered Dillon his bottle and the sobbing baby finally took it from her. Jacob still had not said anything to her but now she watched as his body movements changed from threatening anger to a cocky strut. A slow smile spread across his face as he strutted around her. "See," he said as he walked in a circle around her body. "Even Dillon is smart enough at his age to know I’m right! The minute you admitted that you’re a lousy bitch he calmed right down." Kily felt sickened by Jacob’s presence and his twisted thinking. "Stay calm," she told herself, "choose your words wisely. It doesn’t matter what he thinks, you have to keep the baby safe." Kily smiled at Jacob, "yes, I can see that. He’s smart just like you Jacob. Aren’t you Dillon?" she said as she rocked the baby back and forth in her arms. Kily reached out and took Jacob’s hand and led him back to the couch. "Sit down Jacob and relax while I fix you a nice lunch," she told him. Jacob resumed his seat on the couch and Kily turned to walk to the kitchen. "Wait!" Jacob told her. Kily froze and dreaded to turn around. "Bring me my son," Jacob said and held out his arms. "I’ll keep him company while you cook." Kily was terrified to hand over her precious child to this cruel man. Her mind raced trying to find believable excuses that Jacob might accept for her refusing to hand over the baby. "Well," she said as she forced a laugh, "I’ll be happy to do that, but you might not like it at the moment, he um is in desperate need of a diaper change. He may be as smart as his handsome daddy but he’s not yet old enough for potty training." Jacob pulled back his arms quickly, "aw, never mind then," he told her, "but hurry up with my lunch." Kily hurried away into the kitchen clutching her precious bundle. 

Dillon nursed on his bottle periodically letting out deep sobs. Kily kissed his cheeks and wiped away tiny tears. She held him close in one arm as she prepared food with her free hand. "I have to get away from him," Kily told her self. She had heard often enough from several people that Jacob had only been nice while he was waiting to go to court because he knew it would help his case. She had also been told that of course Jacob was nice and loving while he was in prison because he knew that she would not wait for him if he wasn’t. Kily worked silently as she thought of all the warnings she had been given by people she had once ignored. "They were right," she whispered under her breath. She glanced at Dillon and he took the bottle from his mouth and offered it to her. She smiled at him, shook her head no, then kissed him again. "I have to find a way to get you away from here," she said as she guided his hand holding the bottle back to his mouth. Dillon nursed on his bottle and swung his little foot in small arcs against her hip. "I can’t let anything happen to him," she thought, "I have to have a plan, figure out a place to go and a way to live," she told herself.  

Kily worked in the kitchen quietly speaking to Dillon until she made him smile. She forced her shaking hands to work steady and tried thinking about how she could escape from Jacob without putting Dillon in jeopardy. She finished Jacob’s lunch and took it to him in the living room. She brought him something to drink and asked him if there was anything else he might need that would make him feel comfortable. When he dismissed her, Kily made an excuse that she needed to give the baby his bath and left the room.